One hell of a good mood
07.01.08 (1:20 am) [edit]The title should be enough. I am in one hell of a good mood right now. I don't know why, but an sudden high just slammed into, engulfed, swallowed all of me.
It's an odd euphoria, a tempting, controlling feeling. Lust, almost. An uncontrollable urge to succeed. That's the best I can describe it.
It's exactly like the feeling you get when you're about to accomplish a great thing you've done. Thing is, i've done nothing. Yet.
What is this feeling? I don't know where it's from, i don't know why it's here. I'm just enjoying the moment.
Feeling this I know the day dawning now is going to be awesome. I'm going to start it off with one heck of a good run, and then later a lovely date.
I still feel it, it's very strong. Do you feel it?
-Robbie
Me as of now
06.30.08 (12:19 pm) [edit]I've made the final decision: i'm going to date the girl i've mentioned before, it'll be fun. Sadly, she's working today/tonight....
After that announcement, i feel like i really need someone to talk to right now, but no one is on line or able to answer there phones :(
oh wells....
Too bored to blog....
06.27.08 (1:23 pm) [edit]Is it bad when you are actually too bored to really make a good blog post? Ya.
I'm mostly forcing this one. I'm feeling full inspiration to make something, but total lack of ideas right now. Boooooo to lack of thought... booo.......
-Robbie
Right to own a gun
06.26.08 (12:06 pm) [edit]Thank God, the supreme court held the right to own a hand gun. I would be remarkably upset if they ruled otherwise.
I believe that right is one of the single most important rights to be upheld. Right along side with free speech and such. The second amendment of the Constitution better always be held.
If I've understood my history classes correctly, and I believe I have, part of the reason that the amendment was added was to ensure that the people could rise up against a corrupt world (specifically a corrupt government) and otherwise defend themselves in any other such situations.
Keep the amednment.
not myself
06.26.08 (12:25 am) [edit]I haven't felt like myself at all today...
it feel like my friends are ignoring me, it's probably just all coincidental but two of them suddenly had things going on that couldn't involve doing anything fun, and most just didnt answer their phone or texts or IM's
what the hell.
I haven't been remembering my dreams the past few days, but I'm trying.
Oh well, listen to me, complain about the stupidest little things.... dumb....
-Robbie
little nervous
06.25.08 (1:28 am) [edit]MRI tomorrow.. it decides my summer, then a little more
i'm never nervous about it, but I feel a bit tense right now. it'll fade eventually.
a girlfriend would help. someone near my age to feel it with me, i dk how to explain it.
-Robbie
....weird....
06.24.08 (12:46 am) [edit]my day is closing up, and suddenly i feel like it's been a weird day. everything has been fundamentally normal.
woke up, chocolate milk, exercise, games, dinner, ran
oh yeah, the difference: e-mail from a hot girl i barely know
perhaps that's what's weird.
hmmmm
-Robbie
I need to write...
06.22.08 (12:06 am) [edit]I need to write something...... I just really, really need to write something....
have you ever felt the sensation at your fingertips? the feeling when they are thinking, throwing words our without any motion at all? Striking keys that aren't there... it's like im tugging strings bound somewhere down in the depths of my mind, and i cant fish anything out...
But i really feel I need to write something... and this isn't enough...
A slightly depressed,
Robbie
Dreams, again.. i'm keeping up fairly well
06.21.08 (1:52 pm) [edit]Now that i've been recording my dreams, I've been remembering more and more of them. here's the latest entry:
Last night I had a nice dream about Magic the Gathering. I dont remember specifics but i remember it was about a whole bunch of cards and such. The only other game-related dreams I've had, that I remember, were about baseball and running, two of the things I care about the most.
This is interesting, perhaps I have a growing obsession....
-Robbie
dream last night
06.19.08 (11:56 pm) [edit]Unusual dream... It has been years since I last had a nightmare, but this one was just kinda depressing.
it's a classic: i felt like i was surrounded by friends and family and they were all disagreeing with me playing magic the gathering. they weren't being mean, they were just voicing their opinions about it. Perhaps it's a fear of acceptance on my part, but i grew out of that fear entirely a couple years back.... odd....
headed to tallahassee tomorrow for a cousins wedding... blah...
-Robbie
Last night's dream
06.17.08 (3:16 pm) [edit]Dream: Me playing golf, and playing very well.
Today: I played golf, and set myself a new record! 83/62 that number sounds horrible, really it does, and it really is, but it's one stroke shy of bogey golf, and that makes me happy :)
I've heard these things about picturing yourself doing something well and it will improve you naturally. It seems to be true, for now.
-Robbie
yay for new Magic the Gathering decks!
06.16.08 (3:42 pm) [edit]Well.. they aren't new cards... but I have developed myself 3 new decks. I'd bought a red/black core deck, and it wasn't flowing very well for me, so i checked out some other cards I have.
After a few hours of card counting, comparing, cost/effect weighing, and logic, I now have 3 decks. A solid white core set that I'd bought with a few modifications of removals and additions, a black/green deck, weighted toward black, and a red/blue deck, weighted towards red.
I've done about 10+ test-runs with each those second two, and I'm thrilled with the outcome. Now I just gotta find someone to play against....
Obsessed,
Robbie
Most recent dream
06.16.08 (12:24 pm) [edit]I haven't had any that I remembered the past couple days, but a little piece i did have was as follow: I found someone that plays magic the gathering, and i was excited like, hey I have someone to play this game with. Then, i just suddenly realized I was dreaming, and felt a bit disappointed. i dont remember where the dream went from there. supposedly the more you keep track and record your dreams, they more frequently you remember them. I hope it works. -robbie
Recording dreams
06.13.08 (1:35 pm) [edit]I've decided I'm going to record my dreams as best I can from now on, because I like knowing on what went on in my subconcious :) Especially since I tend to dream odd things, but not so much for this first day of records. more like random.
Last night I girl I hadn't seen in ~4 months was the main character, aside from me, in my dream. We were just hanging out at my house, doing nothing. But then, all of a sudden, we had to catch a bus to campus. That bus would be about 250 miles off course to do that, but whatever. we're walking out to get to the bus stop, and suddenly i realized I'd forgotten something. I dont know what, but that's irrelevant. I walk back in to do whatever is was and she walks on to the stop ahead of me. After i'm done, I walk back to the door and as I am, I hear the bus pull away. and I woke up.
Another dream from a few days ago: (i may have already listed this one but i don't feel like checking back down my logs, so excuse me if i did) My house seems to be a common place for my dreams. But anyways ya we're there, and "we" is me and two of the nicest most beautiful girls i know. The odd part: we're all naked. completely naked. But we're just hanging out, doing nothing as we normally would, talking, walking around the house, whatever. But completely naked. There wasn't even a climactic part that woke me up.
Anyone like to unwined dreams for meanings? Go ahead, ha.
-Robbie
Recording dreams
06.13.08 (1:30 pm) [edit]I've decided I'm going to record my dreams as best I can from now on, because I like knowing on what went on in my subconcious :) Especially since I tend to dream odd things, but not so much for this first day of records. more like random.
Last night I girl I hadn't seen in ~4 months was the main character, aside from me, in my dream. We were just hanging out at my house, doing nothing. But then, all of a sudden, we had to catch a bus to campus. That bus would be about 250 miles off course to do that, but whatever. we're walking out to get to the bus stop, and suddenly i realized I'd forgotten something. I dont know what, but that's irrelevant. I walk back in to do whatever is was and she walks on to the stop ahead of me. After i'm done, I walk back to the door and as I am, I hear the bus pull away. and I woke up.
Another dream from a few days ago: (i may have already listed this one but i don't feel like checking back down my logs, so excuse me if i did) My house seems to be a common place for my dreams. But anyways ya we're there, and "we" is me and two of the nicest most beautiful girls i know. The odd part: we're all naked. completely naked. But we're just hanging out, doing nothing as we normally would, talking, walking around the house, whatever. But completely naked. There wasn't even a climactic part that woke me up.
Anyone like to unwined dreams for meanings? Go ahead, ha.
-Robbie
MTG... it seems like heroin
06.12.08 (5:49 pm) [edit]Not that i've ever done heroin, but from what I understand it's an instant addiction. I've become addicted to magic the gathering. Every night now I find myself sorting through my decks, modifying things slightly, comparing ratios of land costs to strength and abilities. i'm converting single cards according to the matches i went through that day.
An obsession? yes, but it seems to be a healthy one... ?
Also, Mario Kart Wii still = fantastic. especially beating foreign people.
Yay for fun times,
Robbie
Magic The Gathering = Awesome
06.10.08 (12:44 am) [edit]I've really started to get into this game as best I can. I've always just turned down stuff like MTG, but I decided to take a shot at it now. It's FUNNNN. And one of the best parts, I've always wanted to collect something, just about anything I was interested in, and I may have found that. Yay for MTG!
Please, if there is anyone out there with random tips, advice, whatever you have to or can say about MTG, share it here for me!!!
The Rookie,
-Robbie
I realize it now...
06.07.08 (2:47 am) [edit]He's trying to hook me up with his sister... odd? ya, a little odd....
-Robbie
I <3 Blogging....
06.03.08 (3:31 pm) [edit]Over the years, I've always liked blogging. I'm an internet lover. Blogs are basically my mistresses to actual pen + paper, and even against Microsoft word. 
Just expressing my blog luvin'
-Robbie
Response to ruined's post
06.03.08 (2:58 am) [edit]Right on, ruined, right on....
(If you're going to read any of this, please read at least the red text towards the bottom. I believe it delivers the gut of the message I'm hinting at. Thanks.)
Please, to anyone reading this, do not take what I am saying as what I consider to be the cold hard truth, right and wrong, but just my opinion. Please do not find some way to take offense to any of this, it's just my political ranting and raving. Thanks.
I'm Republican, and proud to say it. Granted, both parties are flawed, and that I'll admit openly on both sides.
But, for some of the issues, you need to take the "lesser of two evils."
Democrats keep saying "we need change" but in all the news I've read and watched, I've seen no proposed specific change. I've seen Democrats promise to confront gas companies and health insurance, both of which are nearly impossible. Completely impossible for the gas. Gas itself is an industry, right? Meaning, it's business, private business essentially. But the Democrats are claiming they'll change the prices. I see that as you or me going over to the nearest local store and saying "change your prices, they suck." I'm sure they'd agree and do it, right? No. I wouldn't doubt if I'm seeing their approach wrong, and if anyone knows or believes more, please post a response about this, I'd appreciate it to help inform myself.
I've seen Republicans just claiming, basically, that everything is alright as-is. But even for me, it's not. I see a future in which my social security gives no help, where my health insurance (especially mine, of all people) strangles me. Everything isn't alright, but I believe in reality they notice that as well and are planning to "change" this too. I don't know how, and I've heard little of it. If anyone has, please respond.
Both parties are wrong and right on different aspects through my eyes, through everyone's eyes, hopefully.
I'm a Republican because I like having people that can make decisions, and who are not afraid to stand boldly in a world like we have today.
I'm only 20, so I'll admit I'm not very well informed of the past compared to more well aged than I. However, I will state some of my beliefs based on what I do know.
When Clinton was President, the USS Cole was bombed by some terrorist group. Who retaliated? Who made a stand, stood up and did something? Not Clinton, if I understand correctly. Just stood there and took it. That really pissed me off. Democrats: the next time your child is punched in the face, just ignore it. Imagine that. And that's on a small scale. Again, to all those who know more than I, please respond.
Republicans: I support the aggressive stances, I really do. It's necessary to live today, in my opinion. However, look above and beyond some of the issues, mainly I have in mind the economy. Granted, economies naturally rise above and beyond, then fall and plumit uncontrollably, but that doesn't mean some little things can be done to soften the blow. Not everything is alright. Fine tune some things, please. But don't change your stance on the war. Just don't.
We live in a very interesting part of time, of US history, of world history. It's such an interesting, violent, saddening, horrifying, tragic time time that I'm hearing people believing the second coming of Christ is near. Perhaps those Mayans are correct: the end of the world, december 12th, 2012. Frightening. Be prepared?
I'm excited for this coming election. I'm praying, of course, that my vote helps to win for my chosen person, whichever of the final two it will be. I am also praying that regardless to which is elected, Democrat or Republican, it will have been the best decision for the nation. I'm praying that the result to this insanely complicated equation will balance out what seems to be a scale tipping far away from the just and righteous towards the sick and twisted. It's a balance of our lives now and the lives of the future. Who can fix the scale? Ultimately, it's you and me. Lets all pray to whoever we believe in, and if you don't believe, just hope, that whoever is elected can be the best possible choice. Go ahead, tip the scale.
Thanks for reading this, any of this at all. Sorry for this drawn-out rant, but I just needed to let it out. And one last time, posts about you opinions and views of the world and politics, it will help me make the right choice, so please, share your views.
-Robbie
Slightly upset
06.03.08 (2:24 am) [edit]I'm a little upset, and perhaps rightfully so. I may have already posted about this, but this is all I have to mention at the moment..
This might be a little selfish, self centered, whatever, but... it's been two weeks at least since my Mom said she'd like to read my latest poems, and she hasn't. Those mean a lot to me and I was thrilled that she'd like to be in touch with them. In fact, today she lied that she'd read them. I asked her to name one, she said she couldn't. Then I said, name a single line, and she said "it's something about dreams."
First of all, yeah, I wrote a poem about dreams supposedly, I may have posted it here. But "it's something about dreams" isn't all I would have wanted to say in a poem, and I'd figure someone would be a ilttle more intelligent about that. And I know my Mom is very bright. So I called her out, and said that's just in the title. She turned and laugh admitting she hadn't read them.
That bothered me. Now I feel I've slightly been pushed aside, and then lied to. I know and understand fully that she has a busy life, she does, but you'd think she could take 2 minutes and read one of them, right
Maybe I shouldn't even care? I don't know. At least I have people at there like you all, willing to read my drivel. I appreciate that, just the hits on the page, let alone the comments you leave, good or bad.
Thanks,
-Robbie